Tenebrosity
I fear that my frustration level will reach record highs, soon. I fear that this fucking week will never end. I fear that I am not living up to my potential. I fear that I may have to make decisions I am not ready to make. I fear that the full moon really does make people nuts. I fear that recently I have possibly been the most angry I have even been in my life. I fear that I have come into contact with more stupid people this week than should ever be allowed to happen. I fear that getting my hair cut and dyed will have to wait a couple more weeks. I fear I have given up on getting a manicure and pedicure anytime soon. I fear that my insomnia is rearing it's ugly head and I am not happy about it. I fear slowly losing those I love. I fear I may never get my damn living room painted. I fear that I have way too many new lessons to learn and I just don't have the energy. I fear that this week I was treading water for so long I almost gave up and went under. I fear darkness when I don't feel I am in secure surroundings. I fear my 6Th sense has left the building because I am so tired, so often. I fear I didn't sign up for this job but it was, the cards I was dealt. I fear I am so not in control of my emotions. I fear I feel a tinge of loneliness yet I am never alone. I fear I have forgotten how to do small things with great love. I fear that I am so filled with fear.
11 comments:
Sorry you've had such a rough week. Fear seems like a negative emotion, but it acutally has some really useful purposes - it prompts us in the right direction and keeps us safe. Listen to your fears, find out what they mean to you, and then act on them instead of letting them control you.
Jay, thanks for stopping in at the asylum, and for the words of wisdom. I agree with you and ranting always helps to put things in perspective.
Why be tenebrous? Why not be propitious instead?
Dave, this week needs to be a hell of a lot better before I can claim any propitousness.
Was something in the water last week? Why was it so bad for so many of us? Hope this week is looking up.
I agree with Jay...don't get to the point where you let your fears control you. In essence, we all have fears, it's just all a matter of how we choose to "prioritize" them and deal with/confront them. I can't speak for anyone else, but I know that to some degree, you have to have them to keep you grouded, aware, humble, alert, and it is only through some fears that we can effectively learn a lot of life's lessons, and how to appropriately handle resentments and much DEEPER fears.
Fringes, I guess we were all drinking from the same water well, but alas it is a new week and I've got my game face on.
Tera, I agree, a little fear is a good thing, it was a bad week, but this week should be better. Thanks for the thoughtful words.
Have you had sex? That usually cheers me up especially when I have a partner.
gp, I'll have to go check my calendar, I'll get back to you.
First, good word.
Second, There are certain things I have to do to maintain my sanity. Other than that I can only say "Fuck it" and ride this wave of mine...even though it switches from friendly and fun to tsunami sized with a quickness. I'd say I'm sorry to hear this is what's going on...but if this never went on THAT would be amazing.
Amadeo, I am riding the wave but when it reaches tsunami proportions, I am calling you up. (yes, it is a good word)
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