I am leaving 2008 in perhaps the worse shape ever. This has not been a very good year, not emotionally, not mentally and not physically. I have felt like I was tittering on the edge of very ugly places more times than I have been willing to admit. I have plummeted to some ugly places more times than I have admitted too as well. I loved hard and my heart broke harder. I made some tough decisions and choices, others were made for me as I kicked and screamed refusing to accept what was ultimately inevitable. Yes, there was plenty of despair in 2008, fate was not kind and the gods were not fair.
Not everything was doom and gloom in 2008 (even if it seemed that way to me most of the time). I have many things to be grateful for. I live on a beautiful island, in a beautiful home, on a gorgeous farm. I am blessed (during these trying times) to not have to worry about working or making ends meet. I have an incredible family, a gazillion cousins and friends who love me unconditionally and who have held me up during my worse times. I have been in a position to help those that needed a helping hand and have done so with an open heart, I am grateful they let me into their lives. I am grateful for the insight, support and concern from all you sweet huckleberries. I am grateful that I am still here, battered and bruised but still standing.
My dad use to say as long as you had "hope, faith and love" everything would be alright. In a way it was his holy trinity. It was how he lived his life and what he tried hard to pass onto me. (of course his faith was a lot more Catholic/religion based than mine will ever be but ...) I do have HOPE for a much brighter new year. HOPE that my karma and the cosmic plan will do good by me in the coming year because I do try so hard to do good by it (most of the time). I have FAITH that perhaps this past year was the one where I learned life's hardest lessons and I am a better person because of it. FAITH that I will continue to grow into the person I dream to be. As for LOVE, Yes, I have LOVE because I do, I can, and I was and that makes me very blessed not to mention lucky. So good bye 2008, hello 2009. But please try and be a little more gentle with me this new year. The past year left me a little frayed, OK a lot frayed around the edges but in hindsight frayed could have been worse, I could have been broken but I'm not, and I am still here, able to see a glimmer of new beginnings.
From the Asylum to all of you "Happy New Year", may it be filled health, happiness and beautiful new beginnings.