Monday, May 17, 2010

another bullet post

  • My brother's birthday party was fun, he got plenty of fabulous gifts, and groovy memories.
  • My shoulder is healing. I have been going to physical therapy 3 times a week. I dare say I am even starting to use my left arm again. I have a whole lot less pain and can now dress myself independently. Feeling pretty good about my progress.
  • Sunday around 1:15 am I felt the earth move. My first reaction was "yeah, he rocks my world", followed by "am I dreaming?" which quickly turned into ... no wait I am wide awake and sleeping alone. It took only seconds to realize it was in fact an earth quake. A moderate earth quake of 5.8. The island sustained minimal structural damage, some rock slides, no deaths or injuries reported. It was an odd sensation to feel my bed rocking, and hear things rumbling.
  • I have decided to get political, after all I am Puerto Rican and politics is sort of our hobby and national pastime. Am starting in my own community. I am now the "water queen". We have private well water services in our community, which serves about 110 families. Being water queen requires meetings with our mayor, environmental services, local electric company and of course, the 110 families we serve. I dubbed myself water queen, because you know, I am all about the power. First Aguas Buenas, then the world. (insert maniacal laugh here)
  • It's mango season, and that my little huckleberries is one of the greatest things about living here. I went to a baseball game this weekend in Ponce. I parked in front of a house with a massive mango tree, and there were mangos everywhere. I asked the home owners if I could help myself to some fruit and they said yes, not only yes, but got me some bags, opened their gate and helped me unto the roof of their house where I proceeded to fill two large garbage bags with delicious mangos. I shared some at the ball game but brought plenty back home. I absolutely love mangos!
  • OK, that's it. done. be back soon.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

I love you

Dearest Albert,

We met when you were 2 years old. I still shudder when I think about how sad, frightening and painful the first 2 years of your life had been. I hope you always remember as terrible as those years may have been, those bad things do not define the man you are. They are just there to reinforce the strength of the man you are becoming. But that was then and this is now. Today is April 24th, the day you have been counting down for an entire year, your 18th birthday ( Yeah, yeah I bought you that new car... NOT!) In your honor, I am sharing some sisterly wisdom and some memories of our life together. These pictures remind me of all the reasons why I love you.

The above picture was our first trip to Puerto Rico, I think you were 4. You carried 11 coconuts up that hill, I don't know why but you were determined. Don't be a quitter. Follow through with things. Determination is a great quality to have.

Our first trip to Disney World, you were 5, maybe 6. You walked around with that autograph book and had everyone sign it. You were fearless. Everything made you laugh. There was magic in everything. Keep your inner child happy, it will keep the adult in you healthy.

Last year, the family Caribbean cruise. You love a good laugh. We share lots of laughter. You have a great sense of humor, remember to use that when times get tough. Don't lose the laughter.

You and dad, in Puerto Rico, besides your love of carrying coconuts, I discovered your love of the beach and the ocean this trip. You were carefree, unafraid and learned to swim on your own. You have become an impressive athlete. You play baseball, basketball, volleyball, and run like the wind. Stay active, you've got an awesome body now but someday 18 will be a memory and 60 will knocking at your door.

This was about 3 years ago, you and Papa. You are so compassionate. You were so wonderful to him. It made my heart soar when ever I watched you interact with him. Always be compassionate, remember to be kind to those less fortunate. Remember to always make time to help others, it is one of life's wonderful rewards. It takes so little and means so much, I know it sounds corny but it's true.

You and Mama during the family cruise. You have an innate ability to make everyone love you. It's an incredible skill to be able to relate to all kinds of peoples, from all walks of life. On the last day of the cruise you were surrounded by people you had met along the week. Someone asked us if you were famous because of the commotion. You always make a lasting impression. Don't abuse that skill. Use it for good and not evil.

You were once an alter boy. That's you, up front and center. We have had many discussions about religion. It's a wonderful thing that you believe in God. We couldn't be further apart in our beliefs but you have always shown me respect even in light of those differences. Respect others beliefs in the same way that you respect mine. Always respect the differences in people. Respect is essential in life.

This is you on drugs. Not that you do drugs, but if you did, this would be you. DON'T DO DRUGS! You don't ever want to be this ugly. And if I find out you are doing drugs, I will kick your ass, and you know that I can. 'nuff said.

You and your cousin Edwin. Family and friends are important. Be loyal to them. Be true to your word. Always make time for them. Always be sincere. Remember forgiveness is important in all relationships. ( I forgive you for wearing those white crocs)

You were 16 in this picture, looking cool, and it cracks me up that you made sure to match your clothes to your vehicle. You love clothes and shoes, in fact your love of shoes rivals my own. Always take pride in yourself. Always be kind to yourself. Always keep your priorities in check.

You and Dilmaris, your girlfriend. Your first love. This past year has been filled with drama in the relationship department as the two of you learn the in's and out's of this whole love thing. Respect and trust the women you have relationships with. Be honest, be romantic, and practice safe sex. ALWAYS. Remember that an unwanted/unplanned pregnancy will change your life forever and more than likely in negative ways. Besides the pregnancy thing, there are bad, nasty diseases which will attach themselves to your penis and never let go. Safe sex ... wear a condom, other wise your penis will exhibit nasty, gross sores and warts and it will shrivel up and fall off, trust me, I wouldn't lie to you.

17, healthy, strong, great smile, wonderful personality, bad temper. You worse fault is your bad temper. Learn to control it. It will ruin your life. Not everything is worth freaking out about. Not everything is life or death. Anger can be a good thing, healthy even but not if it seriously injures those you love. Learn to express your anger in healthier ways, you will be better for it.

Your first school picture. You are beautiful in many ways. Inside and out. I love you dear brother, siempre, sin condiciones. Happy Birthday, looking forward to seeing your future unfold.

Besos, Es

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Puerto Rican tales

I was born in Puerto Rico. I am a United States citizen, everyone born on the island is, it's one of the benefits of my island being a colony of the USA. When I first moved back to mi isla I had reason to obtain a copy of my birth certificate. It seems here on the island we need a birth certificate to do a whole bunch of things including opening a bank account. To get a copy of my birth certificate I had to stand on huge lines, show 62 pieces of identification, fill out a very long application form and pay a $20 fee. Imagine my surprise when recently our government informed it's people that as of July 1st, all our birth certificates will be null and void. Yes, my old birth certificate will no longer be valid and I must apply for a new one. WTF.

Due to the current craziness in global immigration issues, Puerto Rican birth certificates reportedly account for 40% of passport and identification fraud. Nefarious people are willing to pay upwards of $10,000 for one. OK maybe they aren't all nefarious, perhaps some are just illegal aliens looking to score naturalized citizenship but whatever the reason, as of July 1st, I must go back into the depths of hell my local demographics office and obtain a new certificate.

There will be millions of Boricuas here on the island and in the United States trying to replace their useless birth certificate for a new one. There has been no news as to how the new certificate will be enhanced to prevent identity theft and no news as to what will prevent me from selling the new one for a quick $10,000. In the mean time I currently have not one but two legal copies of my birth certificate up for grabs. I will only entertain serious offers, cash only, throw in a pair of Manolo Blahniks and you win. Please hurry July 1st is quickly approaching.

In other Puerto Rican news fronts, it appears Republicans are throwing around the name of our governor Luis Fortuño as possible vice presidential material. (Seriously, lets all pause for a moment while I stop laughing) I am absolutely a proud Boricua, I love my island, it's people and my culture. I also come from a long line of politically active family. But Luis Fortuño for vice president? The man is a complete moron. An elitist with little regard for the islands people whose main concern is his own political life and agenda. Perhaps that is exactly what qualifies him as Republican vice president material pero no puede ser. Seriously, I don't think it will ever happen, it's just talk, even just rumor. I shall be having nightmares for at least a month now. Damn those political rumor mills to hell.

The Department of Natural and Environmental Resources has informed us that Lionfish have invaded the northern coast of Puerto Rico. The troublesome invasion of these beautiful yet dangerous fish are threatening our native reefs. The speed at which the Lionfish reproduces as well as it massive appetite could spell disaster for our northern coast. Environmental Resources is pursuing ways to get this problem under control by posting a hot line phone number for Lionfish sightings and offering fishermen $2 or $3 a piece for species turned over to them. I wonder if Lionfish born in Puerto Rico need to apply for the new birth certificate? Perhaps we can ask our governor to jump in to the waters off the northern coast and pet a few. Can Lionfish count as constituents?

In news closer to my corazon, my little brother turns 18 on Saturday. Be still my heart, more on that monumental occasion to come.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Hello Blog, are you there? It's me ...

My Dearest Blog,

I know I have neglected you, I mean really neglected you. If you were a living thing, you would most likely be dead by now and I would be planning your funeral. In my defense I should tell you that I have been very ill in recent months. I have been a walking, one arm disease magnet. Tylenol cold and flu are now my best friends. I am taking mega doses of vitamin C and looking into investment options with the Kleenex company. I am happy to report that in the last couple weeks I seem to be on the mend and taking lesser amounts of drugs to combat the evil germs inside me.

I also have not written much because I injured my left shoulder several months ago. I injured it bad enough that the pain was horrific if I moved my arm. So I stopped moving my arm. I really had no need for a left arm anyway. We have all seen those documentaries, people can do wonderful things without the use of a limb, right? Right. I have become very adept at performing all sorts of mundane daily tasks with only one arm. I should have taken pictures to share with you because I am a lovely sight trying to get dressed in the morning. I didn't know I had the physically agility to put my bra on, and pull on shorts with one arm. But oh baby I do, and I did, well I did until the pain in my useless left arm became constant and ran the entire length of my arm, right into my finger tips. My left arm would not be ignored. Damn, I did so try to ignore it. So after my ripped tendon, and adhesive capsulitis were diagnosed. (the frozen shoulder I am sure a result of my refusal to move my left arm for a few months, yeah, I really am a genius.) I have since had a procedure requiring painful needles, and physical therapy. I will continue the physical therapy for a couple more months. Yes, my dear blog, not only have I been germ infested, but I was stupid enough to ignore a torn shoulder tendon and yet I lived to tell my story. Seriously I know it's hard to believe but I am a genius.

I am feeling better, I am no longer the one armed virus germ magnet. (am about an arm and a half right now) The healing started just as you were starting to cough up blood but before you died altogether. Happy days. Please do stay tuned I have some stories to tell and I promise to feed you more often. (yeah yeah I know I've said that before but I mean it this time, I think, no I do really) Until next time...

Besos, Es

Monday, February 08, 2010


While I was in Santo Domingo my beverage choices varied, beer, rum, Dansani flavored water (toronja bliss was my favorite) and Diet coke also known as Coca Cola Light. Coca Cola light didn't really taste the same as diet coke, a little flat tasting in fact. But "light" sounds somehow better than diet.

Pollos Victorino is a chain of fast food chicken places, I spotted them in numerous locations on my travels in Santo Domingo. During the week there never seemed to be anyone buying chicken there, but on weekends they were packed. "Sabor a ti" loosely translates into "taste like you". Now I have no doubt that I taste damn fabulous but am not sure I want my chicken to taste like me because I like my chicken to taste ...well, like chicken. Also how do I know that said chicken will in fact taste like me and not you? Not that you taste terrible but do you taste like chicken? This sign sort of reminded me of "Soylent Green" hence why I never ate there.

Saturday, February 06, 2010

A little vacation

As I have told you a few times I have a gazillion cousins. Some are not so nice, some are nice and some are down right scary. One of the nice ones, is my cousin Olga. Back when we lived in Brooklyn, Olga use to babysit me during summer school vacations. She was a great babysitter. She recently reminded me that as a child I refused to drink any beverage that didn't have crushed ice, she of course always crushed my ice, she spoiled me. Until about 8 months ago Olga lived in Texas now she lives here in Puerto Rico. She moved to help care for her mom, my tia Francis. Olga happens to own a timeshare in Santo Domingo, and since we both needed a little break from our caregiver/caretaker jobs, the Dominican Republic seemed like a nice escape ... and it was.

Let me tell you my little huckleberries, I slept ( a whole lot) I watched TV, I ate and I drank and sunbathed and went sightseeing. It was a heavenly vacation. The weather was great the entire week we were there. Santo Domingo is filled with many historic sights, colonial times have been preserved and the architecture is impressive. The people were wonderfully friendly, the food phenomenal and the beer, well the beer was damn tasty. (the rum wasn't too shabby either but I have to admit it isn't as good as PR rum) Thank you Cuz for the love, the stories shared, and our vacation to Santo Domingo, it was great fun. And I won't tell anyone how you were a little grumpy on the flight home because you couldn't nap due to the fact that R.K.M. & Ken-Y were sitting right behind us on the plane and I had to show you their picture on my IPOD and tell you who they were because I am so hip and have a 17 year old brother who keeps me up on these things. I love that among the gazillion cousins you are one of the good ones.

Columbus or maybe it was his son, slept here.

Colonial Plaza Church

inside the church

Plaza outside the church

Coastline near our condo

Street musicians enjoyed while having a beer at a sidewalk cafe

Olga at the National Aquarium

These lizards were everywhere, and they were big.

Stairways like this one can found all over older parts of the city

Our Transportation to and from Saona Island

Saona Island

Same island, another view

I have more pictures to share at another time, blogger is taking too long to upload and I have things to do. Enjoy the weekend, be back soon.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Another Milestone

So the party continues, it's my birthday. In honor of such an auspicious occasion, am having a few girls over to celebrate. Nothing too extravagant just the usual cigars, rum and of course, plenty of hair adornment. Oh and 7 birthday related things:

  1. Am a Capricorn and if I were to believe in horoscopes, I am a true Capricorn. sad but true.
  2. My most favorite birthday ever was at L'Auberge, balloons, champagne, tuxedo strawberries, followed by 2nd most favorite: Vegas baby!
  3. My most favorite birthday outing as a kid was going to "flame Steaks" in Times Square. My parents always made it a goal to embarrass me by putting lettuce on their noses, yep, those were good times.
  4. There has only been one year where I secretly wished for a specific birthday gift. I never told anyone, and hence didn't get what I had wished for, how stupid was that?
  5. I don't recall ever having a birthday party or traditional type birthday cake. I'm OK with that, those things never appealed to me.
  6. By 8AM today I had received 4 birthday texts, 6 birthday emails, 2 birthday gifts, and the day is still young.
  7. The anniversary of the day of my birth, means I made it to another year, another chance to live up to my potential, another year to count my wrinkles, to stare in the mirror and wonder "how come body parts seem to be going south?" , another year to squander away the day without guilt because it is my birthday, another year to feel good about who I am, another year to "Find freedom for the full expression of my personality".

Monday, January 04, 2010

Dia de los Reyes

While most of you are getting back into your post holiday routines, here on the island we are still in party mode. Today is 3 kings day. El dia de los Reyes is one of our most important holidays. All the islands children spent last night finding boxes and filling them with hay, so the camels would have something to eat when the 3 kings dropped off a whole plethora of gifts. Los Reyes trump santa here on the island.

Nothing goes back to normal until January 12th, when at long last kids go back to school and people go back to work and the holiday season is officially over. It's a damn long holiday season. We start the party on Thanksgiving and almost 2 months later it ends.

The holiday season is filled with traditions, fabulous food and wonderful music. For some it's a highly spiritual time, there are midnight masses, re-enactments, and candle lit processions. For others (like me) it's the food and drink and music that fills me with awe. I have eaten more roast pork in the last 2 months than I did all year. I drank coquito (our rum laced coconut eggnog) and moonshine, oh baby, you haven't lived until you drink our moonshine, it's smooth, fruity and ever so deadly, gotta love that in your holiday beverages. And the music, incredible Christmas carols that have been sung for generations, some spiritual, others just joyful.

So today while you go about your average day, I'll be checking out my hay filled box for baubles left by the 3 kings, eating roast pork, and drinking moonshine, all the while listening to los troubadours sing farewell to this holiday season. Feliz dia de los Reyes.

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