Perhaps I Need Therapy
Things that freak me out:
- Bugs that are faster than a speedy bullet and can jump tall buildings in a single bound.
- Women who are a size 18 but dress in a size 4.
- Menu items that include the innards of animals, some things just shouldn't be eaten.
- Incessant negativity.
- People that never swear. It's just fucking wrong.
- Deep end of pools, I must touch bottom and have my head above water, always.
- Biting into something and hearing a "crunch", when I know there should NOT be a crunch.
- Being slimed, keep your viscous liquid matter to yourself.
- Men that are useless, stupid and controlling.
- Having matched sets of socks going into the dryer and an uneven set coming out.
- Fake dairy products, all real dairy products go in the fridge not the cupboard shelf.
- Cheap liquor, if I wanted to drink gasoline, I'd buy gasoline.
- Gumby but not Pokey.
- Babies that drool, wear diapers and can't speak coherently.
- Rolling over onto the "wet" spot.
- wintergreen or black licorice, what the hell kind of flavors are those?
- Hens that chase you down until they peck you repeatedly, then cluck happily.
22 comments:
veal and puppies freak me out.
Perhaps you need therapy also.
Thinking you only ever get one chance, and Disco.
You would learn to love disco if you had to listen to Reggaeton every day.
Your list is really good - especially 2, 7 and 12.
Ugly feet freak me out.
"Needs dental work" breath freaks me out.
Thanks for stoping by, Jali,ugly feet like the ones that are dry, cracked and squished into small sandals. eewww
I will make an addendum to #1: bugs with more than 8 legs. I mean, seriously--are all of those squiggly legs neccessary, millipedes? I don't think so.
That is quite the list of freaky things. I am pretty much freak proof but I was talking to this lady the other with the worst teeth I have ever seen. I mean they looked like the fake play teeth you buy and at first that is what I thought they were but they were real. I could stop looking at them they were so bad her lips had trouble touching. So that freaked me out but I didn't show it or I think I didn't. Being spit on ticks me off possibly to the point of freaking out. That’s all I can type for now I have to go calm down.
GP
uno, dos, tres, extra legs are overkill, 2 seems sufficient.
GP, add bad breath and that might have sent you over the edge. As for spit,sharing bodily fluid of any kind without your consent is always a bad thing. (consent being the key word)
boneless skinless chicken breasts
with or without the rest of the chicken attached? not a pretty picture, a chicken walking around with it's breasts exposed.
Your list has me covered.
I tell the kids I work with if your booze cost less than beer you are doing something wrong.
People who force laughter in meetings when nothings funny.
8 hour work days.
When people think you shouldn't joke around.
Children with no manners and the people who don't correct them.
People who freak out when I tell the former that I will fight someone under 4 feet tall.
Fringes, know what they say about like minds, scary, huh?
amadeo, sense of humor is vital, cheap booze isn't. bad manners always suck. People who think they are funny and aren't, freak me out. 8 hr. work days, 4 hr. work days, just work days. all kinda freaky
Excellent list. I am now freaked out by all of those things too.
I am freaked out by the hard thing that resides inside of every fast food cheeseburger. What is it? Will it kill me if I swallow it? Is there a class action suit out there that I can join?
Mist, do you think that "thing" has a name? If you find out about the class action suit, call me.
Great list.
#10 - Some dryers are real socksuckers.
#17 - Um. How do you know they're happy?
hearts, socksuckers, that cracks me up and I will be using that word as often as possible today. As for the chickens, trust me there is a distinct happy cluck, am a cluck expert.
# 11....Just where does non fat half & half come from? What is in that stuff? Too scary to think about.
7th sister ... yeah, it's half and half of what? be afraid, be very afraid
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