Puerto Rican tales

I was born in Puerto Rico. I am a United States citizen, everyone born on the island is, it's one of the benefits of my island being a colony of the USA. When I first moved back to mi isla I had reason to obtain a copy of my birth certificate. It seems here on the island we need a birth certificate to do a whole bunch of things including opening a bank account. To get a copy of my birth certificate I had to stand on huge lines, show 62 pieces of identification, fill out a very long application form and pay a $20 fee. Imagine my surprise when recently our government informed it's people that as of July 1st, all our birth certificates will be null and void. Yes, my old birth certificate will no longer be valid and I must apply for a new one. WTF.

Due to the current craziness in global immigration issues, Puerto Rican birth certificates reportedly account for 40% of passport and identification fraud. Nefarious people are willing to pay upwards of $10,000 for one. OK maybe they aren't all nefarious, perhaps some are just illegal aliens looking to score naturalized citizenship but whatever the reason, as of July 1st, I must go back into the depths of hell my local demographics office and obtain a new certificate.

There will be millions of Boricuas here on the island and in the United States trying to replace their useless birth certificate for a new one. There has been no news as to how the new certificate will be enhanced to prevent identity theft and no news as to what will prevent me from selling the new one for a quick $10,000. In the mean time I currently have not one but two legal copies of my birth certificate up for grabs. I will only entertain serious offers, cash only, throw in a pair of Manolo Blahniks and you win. Please hurry July 1st is quickly approaching.

In other Puerto Rican news fronts, it appears Republicans are throwing around the name of our governor Luis Fortuño as possible vice presidential material. (Seriously, lets all pause for a moment while I stop laughing) I am absolutely a proud Boricua, I love my island, it's people and my culture. I also come from a long line of politically active family. But Luis Fortuño for vice president? The man is a complete moron. An elitist with little regard for the islands people whose main concern is his own political life and agenda. Perhaps that is exactly what qualifies him as Republican vice president material pero no puede ser. Seriously, I don't think it will ever happen, it's just talk, even just rumor. I shall be having nightmares for at least a month now. Damn those political rumor mills to hell.

The Department of Natural and Environmental Resources has informed us that Lionfish have invaded the northern coast of Puerto Rico. The troublesome invasion of these beautiful yet dangerous fish are threatening our native reefs. The speed at which the Lionfish reproduces as well as it massive appetite could spell disaster for our northern coast. Environmental Resources is pursuing ways to get this problem under control by posting a hot line phone number for Lionfish sightings and offering fishermen $2 or $3 a piece for species turned over to them. I wonder if Lionfish born in Puerto Rico need to apply for the new birth certificate? Perhaps we can ask our governor to jump in to the waters off the northern coast and pet a few. Can Lionfish count as constituents?

In news closer to my corazon, my little brother turns 18 on Saturday. Be still my heart, more on that monumental occasion to come.

Evils of Puerto Rican rum

This is my neighbor across the street. He got home around 6:30 this morning. Apparently he did not have the energy to make it into the house. I did what any good neighbor would do, I took his picture from my balcony as I drank my morning coffee.

American Latina

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

I went to the mall the other day and as is my habit, I parked in the space reserved for pregnant women and cut through Sears to get where I wanted to go. As I was walking through Sears, I spotted a table with T-shirts celebrating Independence day. July 4Th ... um ... did someone forget this was Puerto Rico? I am pretty sure July 4Th is not Puerto Rico's independence. No, wait, we do celebrate the United States Independence because we are a territory of the U.S. and not yet independent. But this isn't about my political views. ( well, maybe, sort of, a little.)

Seeing the shirts reminded me of seeing the Statue of Liberty for the first time. I skipped school one day just to go and view Lady Liberty, up close and personal. I have all sorts of tidbits still stored in my brain pan from that first visit. Things that would only come in handy should I ever appear on Jeopardy and one of the categories is "Things about the Statue of Liberty". But since that isn't going to happen, I am sharing a few of them here with you: It's actual title is "Liberty Enlightening the world", her tablet has July4 1776 engraved on it, her crown has seven spikes representing the seven seas and seven continents. The broken shackles lying at Lady Liberty's feet signify liberation from oppression and tyranny. The torch (as the title states) represents enlightenment. Since 1903 Emma Lazaru's poem "The New Colossus" (a part of which appears under the photo up top) welcomes immigrants.

We have this beautiful woman, filled with so much symbolism, given as a gesture of friendship between two nations and when I read the news, I do NOT get all warm and fuzzy about freedom and friendship and welcoming people from all over the globe. We all know that France isn't "our" friend now, for a while there, just asking for french fries was cause for concern. There's a war going on, the immigration debate is hot and heavy, a lot of censorship issues making people angry, still plenty of hatred and bigotry. The president is an idiot. And as the saying goes ... the rich get richer and the poor ... well, fuck the poor. Teenage pregnancy is crazy, "no child left behind" is even crazier. The young don't seem to understand the difference between fake violence and the real thing and most of their parent's don't either. Women are raped, brutalized and killed daily. A lot of people (kids included) have no homes and go hungry (often), The environment is not having a good day, suicide is on the increase, as is mental illness and Paris Hilton is still in jail, talk about oppression and tyranny.

I clearly remember the feeling of sheer wonderment and pride that I felt when I first saw Lady Liberty. That very first day I memorized the poem by Emma Lazaru and all sorts of trivial and not so trivial facts about the Statue of Liberty. As a child, I so believed in the symbolism and could point to examples around me that justified all for which she stood. As an adult I still believe in her symbolism, but it has become more difficult to see the examples as clearly as I did that day. I guess my rose colored glasses have many, many smudges.