It's been a while

I have been missing for a long, long while from the world of blogging as well as the world at large. Why? well it's a long story, long and convoluted so let me give it to you in bullets :

• I was kidnapped by a chupacabra and only recently managed to escape.
• I have been in such a foul mood that I could only write negative, vile things and frankly even I tired of my "pity parties".
• Petulance (not to be confused with flatulence)
  
• My writing muse took an extended vacation, leaving me high and dry.
• I've been too busy.
• Grief and overwhelming sadness
• health issues, relationship issues, friendship issues, lot's of fucking issues.
• I ran away and married Angelina Jolie Raul Julia Benicio Del Toro and being his sex slave wife leaves no time for blogging.
• Soul searching.
• I had eight babies, and have been avoiding the media circus that surrounds such a blessed event.
• I just needed a break because of my mental break.
  
• Due to my chronic insomnia have been hallucinating too much to write something clever.
• Am so freaking tired, sick and tired.
• Grief ... did I mention grief?
• been training for a triathlon (can't even type that with a straight face.)
• Been traveling the world using my powers for good and not evil.
  
• No time to write, a Nuyorican (aka a Puerto Rican) is headed to the supreme court.
• Procrastination, putting off till mañana what I could have written about today.
• sad, lonely, miserable, too many headaches.
• No internet connection in my padded cell.

There you have it my little huckleberries, reasons why I have been gone, some are true, some are not. Feel free to add your own reasons for my disappearance.