New Beginnings
This year will soon end and another begins. As I have done every year for as long as I can remember I will make time to review the passing year. I will reminisce, contemplate, laugh and no doubt cry. I will check to see what goals I met and which ones I totally ignored. I will read through past journals and wonder if in fact there is "cosmic plan". I'll surprise myself at what I have accomplished and all the things I have survived in the last year. I will count the things I did with great love (even the small things) and will forgive myself for those things or times when ugly thoughts and feelings were the only vibes I gave to everything around me. But it's soon to be a new year and a new beginning.I am leaving 2008 in perhaps the worse shape ever. This has not been a very good year, not emotionally, not mentally and not physically. I have felt like I was tittering on the edge of very ugly places more times than I have been willing to admit. I have plummeted to some ugly places more times than I have admitted too as well. I loved hard and my heart broke harder. I made some tough decisions and choices, others were made for me as I kicked and screamed refusing to accept what was ultimately inevitable. Yes, there was plenty of despair in 2008, fate was not kind and the gods were not fair.
Not everything was doom and gloom in 2008 (even if it seemed that way to me most of the time). I have many things to be grateful for. I live on a beautiful island, in a beautiful home, on a gorgeous farm. I am blessed (during these trying times) to not have to worry about working or making ends meet. I have an incredible family, a gazillion cousins and friends who love me unconditionally and who have held me up during my worse times. I have been in a position to help those that needed a helping hand and have done so with an open heart, I am grateful they let me into their lives. I am grateful for the insight, support and concern from all you sweet huckleberries. I am grateful that I am still here, battered and bruised but still standing.
My dad use to say as long as you had "hope, faith and love" everything would be alright. In a way it was his holy trinity. It was how he lived his life and what he tried hard to pass onto me. (of course his faith was a lot more Catholic/religion based than mine will ever be but ...) I do have HOPE for a much brighter new year. HOPE that my karma and the cosmic plan will do good by me in the coming year because I do try so hard to do good by it (most of the time). I have FAITH that perhaps this past year was the one where I learned life's hardest lessons and I am a better person because of it. FAITH that I will continue to grow into the person I dream to be. As for LOVE, Yes, I have LOVE because I do, I can, and I was and that makes me very blessed not to mention lucky. So good bye 2008, hello 2009. But please try and be a little more gentle with me this new year. The past year left me a little frayed, OK a lot frayed around the edges but in hindsight frayed could have been worse, I could have been broken but I'm not, and I am still here, able to see a glimmer of new beginnings.
From the Asylum to all of you "Happy New Year", may it be filled health, happiness and beautiful new beginnings.
Besos, Es
15 comments:
I hope 2009 is kinder, darling.
And who knows, it might bring a visit from a crazy girl from WV. :)
Susan, will be standing sea side, waving madly, thrilled to meet you at long last.
You have love because you are love. The essence of your being is love.
There was never a moment when you weren't love.
True love is perfect and deep within you is everything that is perfect ready to radiate through you and out onto the world.
Be the being that you are...a being of love and light.
Allow your love and light, ie, your true essence to radiate through you without exception to every being, every cricket, every blade of grass, every newspaper dwelling, every long dry river and far beyond.
Feel this love and light returning to you with gratitude. Invite it! Expect it! Welcome it. Feel it! Enjoy it. Live it! Be your true essence! Be!
You need do nothing except to be!
Just like the cycle of life, so comes the cycle of living. Easy times must be followed by rough times, otherwise we wouldn't know the difference.
You've been thru plenty of rough. I wish you some easy for the coming year.
best,
lee
Es, I'm so very glad you are only frayed. Broken is so very hard to fix. Frayed can take time too, but please take the time and get better.
I have a friend who's trying to get me to do something for New Year's Eve and I just feel like doing nothing. Kinda feel like reflecting on 2008 and mourning my losses and celebrating my successes. We'll see if it happens.
Anon,gracias for everything.
Franki, wishing you a fabulous year also, thank you.
Nor, yep, am sure you are a tad frayed as well. Go do something with your friend, we both have plenty of time to contemplate, mourn and celebrate. It's a new year a coming.
Lovely, honest post! I wish you a 2009 full of restorative rest and mountains of peace and blessings! You are a blessing to me!
With seven decades plus (just barely +) behind me I may well be your oldest comment "poster." However, I feel we are all still growing up. 2008 has been one of those growth spurt years for you; they don't come all that often, thankfully, but they do come. Your post confirms that you are putting that growth, painful though it has been, into your total person. That is the nature of things. Think of the plant that is beaten down by rain that has to rise again; or wilted by the sun and heat that has to drink again to renew its life. We all have to do that.
Obviously, you are rising again like the plant. And I am so happy for you. We all have to keep "growing up."
May 2009 be a comfortably balanced year for you and for us all.
She, I thank you for reaching out this past year, it's been a pleasure to "meet" you.
Lit, "old wise one" : )Your willingness to share, and your openness have been a blessing. gracias.
Nope, not doing it. I'm exhausted. Migraines 2 days in a row. I think my body is telling me to stop. And so I will. I have to be ok with being alone.
Beautiful One -
Your pain has made you stronger so that you will help others stand. You are much stronger than you know!
For you I wish a New Year and New Journey of Peace, Love and Understanding - of all things seen and unseen, as us artists formerly known as Catholics say. I wish you JOY beyond your wildest imagination and just a little bit of crazy to keep the Asylum in business ; )
Peace and Love,
Cas
Nor, sometimes alone is a great treat.
Cas, as always you lift my spirit. gracias
You have had your toughest year, but I have faith that as the pendulum swings, the coming one will be exactly as good as this one was bad.
And that is what I wish for you.
The people we love most deeply are always with us, and so your dad has become a part of you with wisdom to draw on whenever you need it.
It seems that your focus should be on healing yourself now, body, mind and spirit, and being surrounded by great beauty helps so much.
Happy New Year, Eslocura, to you and yours!
happy new year es, i hope that this one is full of great, beautifull things for you.
Hearts, as always muchas gracias, wishing you a fabulous new year as well.
Heather, the sentiment is appreciated, hoping you and cheeks and the hubby enjoy a great year as well and that "bar" remains open with that special stool reserved for moi.
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