Who Knew

As a kid I always had pets. Growing up in Brooklyn, we had dogs, fish, pigeons, chickens, turtles, a goose, and a guinea pig. (no, not all at the same time.) There was a cat we named Tomasina, who did not belong to anyone and as she constantly reminded us, didn't belong to us either. When ever it suited her fancy, she would show up at our kitchen window and we would feed her. She was very aloof, as cats tend to be, never allowed us to pet her but stopped by for the free meal (damn freeloader).

A year ago I became the proud owner of a cat (totally by default). His official name is Cochise, but as is the norm here at the asylum, one name is never enough. Depending on the day, activity or just by sheer whim he is also called coochi, pumpkin, horrible stinkin' monkey, kitty gato, fatso, beast of Bayamoncito and what the f**k. ( this last one isn't so much a name as my response to some act of mischief on the cat's part) Needless to say he doesn't respond to his name/names.

It is with some shame and humbleness that I, right here, right now, am admitting that I have at last joined the ranks of those annoying people who are convinced their pets are practically human and treat them as such. I speak to Cochise (feel free to fill in any other of his names here) in both Spanish and English. I fret when he appears the least bit under the weather. I ask him questions, sometimes awaiting a response. I buy him special toys, special treats, special food, because after all, nothing is too good for my "baby" (what the F**K!). I relish the sound of his purring because that affirms that I am doing my job as his caretaker and it feeds my ego, he loves me, he really loves me.

I spoil him, I feed him, take him to the vet as needed and ... (stop reading here if you have no interest in bodily functions, yes, I am blogging about bodily functions) I clean his litter box without complaining of the extremely foul smells. I have even cleaned his hairy butt! Sweet cracker sandwich, I really did clean his hairy butt. I have become a cat person. Who knew.