What Up?

What's up? The last few weeks have been very busy ones. My cousin Tony and his family were here for a visit, I went to Vegas Baby, for a cousins reunion, I went to Utah (those are some mule deer in the above picture, I came across them while hiking) and I spent a groovy few days in Arizona. loving and being loved, that's what's been up. Yes, my little huckleberries, I have been busy feeling the love and living the moment. I have many stories to tell and pictures to Post, Heather sent me some questions to answer and of course, I have not for one moment lost sight of my "path to enlightenment" which Dagromm laid before me. OH, the tales I could tell, or will tell as soon as I get some sleep. So stayed tuned, plenty of naked drunken pictures to follow, ok not really naked, but I did hike up my dress one night ...

In comments, "what up" with you since last we spoke?

Me, Me, Me Part 3

I got the following email from Dagromm: Hi Ms. Locura. I hope everything is going well for you. Below you will find your list of interview questions. It's not widely known that I spent a year traveling to the far reaches of the planet to meditate with the greatest spiritual masters of our time. I don't like to drop names, but Al Roker comes to mind. I have specifically put these questions together for you. If you contemplate on these questions long enough it should lead you to a greater understanding of the universe and spiritual enlightenment.

Yeah, well, Dagromm, whatever ... but since I am still on my quest for the interview crown, I am willing to risk spiritual enlightenment or Al Roker to win. So behold my answers:

1) The world is made up of "haves" and "have-nots", but even the "haves" don't have everything, or even half of some things. Please explain. Well, um, see it all started with the egg, I mean the chicken but then Bill Gates got involved and now he has everything thus becoming the "haves" which meant that the rest of us became the "have-nots". But since even the "haves" as you claim don't have everything, Bill Gates must be missing something, but damn if I know what it is. The end.

2) If you could slip out of your castle undetected for a few days to live as a commoner, how would you accomplish this and what in the world were you thinking? Are you kidding me? why the hell would I want to live as a commoner?

3) Colors are often used to represent emotions and also flavors. Which color best represents you? Peach (Tera says it's a color, go with me on this one) with a smattering of purple, aqua and black.

4) A tornado wrecks havoc on Puerto Rico and sweeps you off to an island with a dozen other stranded people. They all speak the same language, but not one that you speak. How long does it take for you to kill them? Duh, we have hurricanes not tornado's, you must be thinking of Texas. Go ask Q that question.

5) What would you warn someone about that wanted to visit Puerto Rico? Don't forget to bow and avoid eye contact with the queen and bring bug spray, Dengue fever is one the rise.

6) Why did you send Q mangoes? He's been a real snob about it. He keeps them on display so that he can show them to us when ever we're around. They haven't held up well since it's been over six months and he mounted them in the first week to a plaque that says "Bequeathed by the Queen of Puerto Rico". I sent them because I really like fringes and by default Q, or because it does my heart good to know how it torments the rest of you, or because it was cheaper then sending livestock (sorry Q, I would have sent that donkey if I could have found a box big enough) or because I am really getting into this whole "Queen" thing and I knew Q was weak enough to buy into the whole story line.

7) You are a very good writer that puts most of the blog community to shame. Besides myself who else do you find to be an exceptionally impressive blogger? I couldn't think of anyone else either. I am meditating on this one, will get back to you. ( while we wait, I'd say everyone whose blog I take the time to read.)

8) I am fascinated by the requests people make for a last meal when they face execution. What would your's be? Ripe fried platanos, bacon, rellenos de pana, empanadillas de pollo, vanilla flan, a pint of Ben and Jerry's "cherry Garcia", Loli's mangu and a six pack of Medalla light.

9) If you were to go back in time and write your own birth announcement, what would it say? EsLocura was born! (yeah not very creative but to the point)

10) When you were younger I'm sure you were told you were too young to do some things you wanted to do. At some point do you think you might be told you're too old to do something that you want to do? What will the activity be? The only time I expect to be too old to do something I want to do, is when I'm dead.

11) As royalty you have some significant influence. What is the one thing that you would like to make legal and what is the one thing that you would like to make illegal? I'd make marijuana legal and I'd out law stupid people breeding. And of course I would make "Dagromm day" a national holiday.

12) What personal possession have you held onto the longest and why? There are actually 2 things. I still have the paycheck stub from my very first job because it reminds me that I will always have the power to never be hungry again. I also still have every journal I ever wrote in, because it chronicles all the reasons for the human I continue to evolve into.

13) When was the last time you were embarrassed to ask for help or admit you did not know something? I am always quick to admit I don't know something, knowledge is power and I like learning. However asking for help is not something I do well. I have always been someone who would rather muddle through and figure it out then ask for help.

14) You are going out on the town and finally splurge on those skin tight leather pants you've always wanted. What top do you wear with it? none, I don't want anything distracting from the fine tight leather.

15) Gyuss likes to point out that 40 is the new 20. Q says that 15 is the new 18. Cyber D maintains that millionaires are the new middle class. I'm not sure if there's a question in there somewhere ... but ... a little help please? I hear gray is the new black, Met's are out and the Yankees are in (sort of, tonight they be be out), It's "Breast Cancer Awareness month", ladies make time to schedule your mammograms and don't forget self exams, men feel free to lend a caring hand.

Thank you all for playing. This concludes my interviews. Did you get to know me better? Did I win the interview crown? (I bet my crown will look great with those leather pants)

Me, Me, Me Part 2

My muse is still locked away, but no matter, I have Susan's questions to answer. Lucky for me she is all about helping me win the interview crown.

1) Poof! You've been transformed into a fruit. What fruit are you? What characteristics do you share with this fruit? What dish are you best served with? Mango's have been described as sweet, juicy, succulent, and sensual, that's me in a nutshell. Best served alone, no need to taint perfection.

2) What is your favorite time of day? Why? 4 AM, It's when the world seems to stand still and quiet. I sit on my balcony, drinking coffee, watching the sunrise and relishing the moment before the chaos of my day starts.

3) As the "Queen of Puerto Rico" your days are filled with duties and endless tasks. When you have an evening off, though, what do you like to do? Who do you like to do it with?( Boy, haven't I left myself open for a bad answer there?) As Queen a day off is nearly impossible but every so often I lock the castle gates and after practicing my naked happy dance, count my blessings and drink plenty of red wine. As for who I do it with, inquiring minds want to know ... tough.

4) I'm in jail! You, out of the unbelievable kindness of your heart, have decided to pay my bail. What do you have to sell to get me out of jail? Exactly what did I do to land myself there? Once you get me out, what conversation do we have? I had to sell 3 chickens, 2 goats and 2 pigs along with my vintage "Alice in wonderland" watch. You were arrested for displaying your "wares" in public, while ranting "Do you think these boobs are awesome?" Upon your release we both start laughing hysterically and I ask for the final count. You reply "32, yes those are awesome and one look of confusion". (of course the look of confusion came from the old man I had the garage incident with so he doesn't count). Still laughing, we drive off into the sunset to the nearest bar and celebrate the absolute awesomeness that is you.

5) We've miraculously evolved and can now live on any planet. What planet do you choose? why? Mars, the red planet. For the following reasons : it was named after the God of war, which is kinda cool, I enjoyed " The war of the worlds" by H.G. Wells, Mars has polar caps like Earth, containing frozen carbon dioxide (and a small amount of water), The largest volcano in the solar system is on Mars (called Olympus Mons), Mars has seasons like Earth. This is caused by the tilt of the planet's axis, at a similar angle to the tilt of Earth axis, and lastly, I like the color red.


Please stayed tuned part 3 is yet to come.

Me, Me, Me

Since my muse is locked in the bathroom, refusing to come out and I am trying to beat the interview meme record, Tera at "Peruse and Ponder" is helping me out, read on, it's all about me.

1) You are given one "do over", what do you do over? I would have handled my friendship with R differently. I would apologize for not understanding her better and for making the disastrous decision that costs us our friendship. With that said, I do believe that even bad choices/decisions help to define who we become as long as we learn a lesson from the experience. I learned a hard yet very valuable lesson from this falling out with R. She and nuestras hijas are truly missed, all these years later.

2) You are a living legend and are going to be globally recognized in 3 days ... write your speech.
Gracias, muchas gracias, por acceptar que yo soy la unica persona que puedo conquistar el mundo. Free drinks for everyone.


3) The old man that had the discussion about the parking spot with you in the garage weeks ago is in the elevator with you and you two recognize each other ... do you say anything to him? I say " Hey, You look a little older then last time we met ... Get out! I found this elevator first!".

4) No one has read your blog in weeks (I know rare, but run with me on this one) as soon as you become a bit puzzled, what is your next post about? It's about my wild week of sex, sharing every small detail and of course, plenty of pictures, nothing brings the hoards of huckleberries out like sex.

5) Tell me about your first love, any regrets? still communicate? lessons learned? It was J in high school. He was sweet, funny and thoughtful. My first "real boyfriend". Our families were concerned about our differences mostly that I was poor and lived in a bad neighborhood, he was not poor and lived in a nice neighborhood. Either his parents or older brother always drove him to my house and picked him up because they feared for his safety. Lesson learned: despite their concerns, his family always welcomed me with open arms, always tried to feed me, and with J, I never felt poor, or different. Compassion, understanding and an open mind go a long way. I also learned how to kiss with J, he was a damn great kisser. We lost track of each other when he got a baseball scholarship and I moved from New York to Massachusetts. (Hey J, if you happen upon my blog, thank you, it was a lovely ride and you did set the bar pretty high for future boyfriends.)

Please stay tuned, Susan's interview questions coming up next.