Where have I been?

I have been reading blogs when I can, but not posting very much, (OK, I haven't posted at all), but I'm here now to let you know I am muy cansada, and busy because :

• I am trying to film my naked happy dance for posterity.
• I am spending all my free time testing new hair products.
• I fell, scraped my knee and am wallowing.
• I have a serious case of d.t.'s due to the lack of bp's.
• I'm dealing with some family illness/issues.
• my cat ate yet another lizard.
• I am greatly saddened by Owen Wilson's mental health issues, and let's not even talk about Lindsey or Britney.
• the heat, humidity and rain have caused me to constantly rant "I'm melting, I'm melting" and frankly that takes up huge portions of my day.
• I'm farming, cooking and taking care of business.
• The new padded cell is way too cozy.
• I've run away and joined the circus. (on my upward climb to cirque du soleil).
• I'm plotting, plotting lot's of stuff.

What do you think I've been doing? Where have I been?