Oh Brother!

My brother reminded me today that his birthday is coming up. (April 24th) He will be 16 years old. 16 going on 30 but that's just my opinion. He thought that I may want a list of things he would be interested in getting for his birthday. He wants to make shopping easier for me, yeah right. His big ticket item is a car, well, hum... talk to mom and dad about that because it isn't coming from me. The rest of his list consisted of clothes, shoes (specifically a pair of Adidas's he has his eye on and a pair of converse), an itunes gift card (but an itunes account would be even better) and of course the gift that always fits: cold hard cash.

Once we got the birthday thing out of the way, we got down to some serious conversation.

Bro: do you think it hurts to get your penis pierced?
Me: I don't have a penis but I am guessing it does, why?
Bro: I'm thinking a diamond might look cool but what about pain and infection?
Me: ewww an infected penis would be bad.
Bro: yeah plus I hate needles. Do you think it's true that girls have a g-spot?
me: why, are you looking for one?
Bro: (laughing) just wondering. Did you read about the guy whose muscles blew up because of steroids?
Me: nope, where did you read that? stay away from steroids btw.
Bro: I saw it in a video. I'm working on my abs and looking caliente!
Me: prove it, I wanna see.
Bro: I don't take my shirt off for just anyone, there has to be a reason.
Me: shut up.
Bro: are you going to buy me something expensive for my birthday?
Me: Yeah a book that tells you about g-spots, steroids and penis piercings.
Bro: can't you just buy me new sneakers?
Me: I love you
Bro: what's not to love.

Turning 16 could be interesting.

Oh Brother!

I have a fabulous 15 year old brother. OK, the truth is that sometimes he is fabulous and sometimes he is the spawn of Satan. But I guess that is what 15 year old boys are suppose to be like. He is madly in love these days which means he spends all his free time on his cell phone talking or sending text messages to some girl named Jorely. He is a funny, athletic, smart young man but as a consequence of being a teenager he is at times completely self absorbed. It's all about him, how he looks, how cool he is and of course how fashionable he is. He's a clothes horse and his love of shoes almost rivals mine, almost. He is also into colognes, I swear some mornings a cloud of his latest scent enters the room before he does!

In his attempt to set him self apart from all the other spawns of Satan young teenage men showing interest in young teenage girls, he got a star... a big star shaved into the side of his head. Now I don't remember what it was like to be 15, but I think I would have probably been impressed with a boy who shaved a star on the side of his head, then again maybe not.But wait, there's more, no one told me when I signed on for the "get a free brother" thing at social services that in accepting that cute little 2 year old, every year he would continue to grow and age and I would live through it all with him. Damn. I am now reliving high school crushes, broken hearts, homework hell, sex talks and more sex talks. I find myself saying things like "yes, I suppose getting a star shaved on the side of your head is impressive to a 15 year girl". "yes, I think you look great in those new jeans and no, you can never have enough converse sneakers". "yes, always, always wear condoms, boy's who don't are stupid". "Please delete that marijuana leaf picture from your cell phone". "No, I will not talk to your parents about letting you go spend the night at some persons house who we don't know, even if you claim they are really nice people, Ted Bundy was nice too and look how that turned out". "yes, trigonometry sucks but you still need to do your homework". " No, I am not going to buy you another pair of shoes, even if you need them to match the new shirt and jeans I bought you last week". The list just goes on and on.

No one told me having a little brother would keep me awake nights, drive me to drink, make me swear more than usual, laugh hysterically, fill up with pride at his accomplishments, marvel at the human he is becoming, love him unconditionally and smile when I look at pictures of his "star".