NaBloPoMo (less 6 days)

My last post was on November 8th. If you do the math, that's about 6 days ago. I screwed up my NaBloPoMo commitment by 6 days. I am sorry, normally I am much more responsible but sometimes life just gets in the way of blogging. For the 2-3 of you that read my last post, my parting words were something about picking tangerines and grapefruits. That's where I left off ... this is where it continues.

Last I remember it was Thursday, November 8th. It was a bright, sunny, lovely morning. Perfect day for picking citrus. I put on my farm clothes and headed to the finca. (finca=farm) I think I had already filled a large sack with grapefruits, and another with tangerines and was working my way towards the lemons, when I saw the first flash of light. This is where things get a little cloudy. It was as if a large oval shape shiny flying object had landed on my farm. I couldn't move, I wanted to move, perhaps even scream, but I couldn't. It was as if someone or perhaps something had control of my body.

I can't remember most of the last 6 days but I can share with you the few bits and pieces that seem to be a part of where I may have been for the last 6 days (instead of fulfilling my duty to NaBloPoMo). I remember little green men, I think they had foreign accents, although I don't recall seeing their lips move. I remember a hallway of shame photographs of people I somehow thought I knew. I could swear (although the memory is a bit foggy) that I saw I picture of Dagromm in his bunny suit. Then I spotted a group photo of the quad, I can't tell you what Q was doing in the photo because the sheer thought makes me ill. There was a photo of Susan, this of course was basked in sunlight, and although I have never actually met her, the person in the picture was proudly displaying her wares so who else could it be but Susan, right?

The little green men led me through the hallway and into a conference room. I think the chupacabra was there, as was the Pillsbury dough boy( I seem to recall a look of angst on his little dough face, what is it with aliens and anal probes?), the Michelin tire man, that big marshmallow guy from the ghostbuster movie, a wookie and Sigourney Weaver. Everyone was in various "probing positions". Again my memory seems to fail me somewhat here. I do recall reaching for my switchblade, because duh ... I am Puerto Rican, I never leave home without it. Then before I knew it I woke up today in my bed surrounded by sacks of fruit. go figure ...

The good news is I am back, the bad news is I can't figure out how to get all this marshmallow out of my hair.

In comments, how goes it with you? miss me? ever been abducted by little green men?

Me, Me, Me Part 2

My muse is still locked away, but no matter, I have Susan's questions to answer. Lucky for me she is all about helping me win the interview crown.

1) Poof! You've been transformed into a fruit. What fruit are you? What characteristics do you share with this fruit? What dish are you best served with? Mango's have been described as sweet, juicy, succulent, and sensual, that's me in a nutshell. Best served alone, no need to taint perfection.

2) What is your favorite time of day? Why? 4 AM, It's when the world seems to stand still and quiet. I sit on my balcony, drinking coffee, watching the sunrise and relishing the moment before the chaos of my day starts.

3) As the "Queen of Puerto Rico" your days are filled with duties and endless tasks. When you have an evening off, though, what do you like to do? Who do you like to do it with?( Boy, haven't I left myself open for a bad answer there?) As Queen a day off is nearly impossible but every so often I lock the castle gates and after practicing my naked happy dance, count my blessings and drink plenty of red wine. As for who I do it with, inquiring minds want to know ... tough.

4) I'm in jail! You, out of the unbelievable kindness of your heart, have decided to pay my bail. What do you have to sell to get me out of jail? Exactly what did I do to land myself there? Once you get me out, what conversation do we have? I had to sell 3 chickens, 2 goats and 2 pigs along with my vintage "Alice in wonderland" watch. You were arrested for displaying your "wares" in public, while ranting "Do you think these boobs are awesome?" Upon your release we both start laughing hysterically and I ask for the final count. You reply "32, yes those are awesome and one look of confusion". (of course the look of confusion came from the old man I had the garage incident with so he doesn't count). Still laughing, we drive off into the sunset to the nearest bar and celebrate the absolute awesomeness that is you.

5) We've miraculously evolved and can now live on any planet. What planet do you choose? why? Mars, the red planet. For the following reasons : it was named after the God of war, which is kinda cool, I enjoyed " The war of the worlds" by H.G. Wells, Mars has polar caps like Earth, containing frozen carbon dioxide (and a small amount of water), The largest volcano in the solar system is on Mars (called Olympus Mons), Mars has seasons like Earth. This is caused by the tilt of the planet's axis, at a similar angle to the tilt of Earth axis, and lastly, I like the color red.


Please stayed tuned part 3 is yet to come.